PSYCH-Developing Interpersonal Skills-Fighting the Flood of Facebook

The following information is used for educational purposes only.

Fighting the Flood of Facebook

By Steve Baskin

Jan 8 2012


A friend of mine shared the results of a study with me a couple of years ago. Initially, it struck me as interesting, but not particularly relevant to children, parents or summer camp, my areas of expertise.

[Note: Since the study did not initially seem that important to my work, I failed to note who conducted it or what journal published the work. Further, I feel certain that I am getting some of the details incorrect. A Google search proved fruitless as there is a massive number of articles about children learning their colors and about color-blindness. This flood of material all comes up before the study I am searching for. If anyone reading this knows the exact details of the study, I would appreciate you sharing them with me.]

The gist of the study compared color-recognition in children 50-60 years ago to children today. From what I gather, the scientist would show the test subject two swatches of the color red and ask whether they were the same or slightly different.

Children from the early 1960's (I think) were able to identify over 100 different shades of red. They did not know all the names, but they could discern differences in the swatches.

Children today see substantially fewer - less than 40 if my memory serves. This number correlates fairly closely with the number of shades of red readily shown on computer screens and televisions.

This reduction in color identification seems initially surprising, but it makes sense. It is evidence of synaptic pruning. The human brain is an amazingly efficient unit. If there are cognitive functions that are not useful to an individual, the brain weakens and eliminates these connections. In other words, if you do not use it, you lose it.

The theory is that children spent more time in nature 50 years ago and saw a greater variety of colors than modern children who interact with electronic screens an average of 6+ hours a day.

Losing the ability to identify shades of red is not a life-critical skill, so I do not find this conclusion worrisome. My children can live rich and full lives even if they cannot correctly differentiating terra cotta from vermillion.

I, however, worry about the effects of technology-induced synaptic pruning on interpersonal relations. Not only has tech become a centerpiece of our entertainment options, but it has also begun to dis-intermediate our social lives. In other words, we are living too much on Facebook and not enough face-to-face.

I see this in Hong Kong and Houston

Direct human interaction is deeply complicated. We communicate with so much more than words. The tone that we use is important. Body language can change the entire nature of a sentence. One of the messages in "The Social Animal" (David Brooks' survey of cognitive research, behavioral economics and psychology) is that our subconscious is critical to our relationships. While two people are talking, their conscious minds are focusing on the words, but their subconscious minds are registering everything else. From the tilt of a head to a smell to the timing of a laugh, the subconscious is evaluating those we talk with.

Further, the subconscious mind seems to be the major decision maker in deciding who we like and dislike. If someone were to ask me why I was first attracted to my wife, I will undoubtedly give him a long list of wonderful attributes. While each of these attributes might be true, they ignore the basic fact that I was attracted to her because my subconscious told me I was. It was probably a vast mélange of attributes: her vocabulary, smile, posture, vocal rhythm and even choice of entree at dinner. The conversation was important, but by itself insufficient to create strong connection.

If this is true, learning how to connect with other humans requires experience with the multitudinous aspects of non-verbal communication. Communicating well is actually an acquired skill that requires practice.

Tweeting, texting and emailing do not provide such practice. Not only are they devoid of the tone and body language necessary for clear communication, but they also lead (I fear) to the pruning of these skills.

One becomes a better swimmer by swimming, a better writer by writing. Practice is the key to musical mastery. Interpersonal communication is also a skill that requires practice and repetition. Without it, children lose these critical skills just as they lose those extra shades of red. The brain does not see these connections as critical, so it weakens these functions and puts the skills elsewhere (my personal theory is Angry Birds and Halo).

Over the past 18 years I have worked with children, I have seen evidence of such interpersonal erosion. Because of this, the tech-free and friend-dense community of summer camp becomes an excellent counterpoint to this trend. At camp, children have a blast, and they do so with daily face-to-face communication:
• With a cabin-mate preparing for cabin clean up
• With a counselor teaching a new skill
• With a younger camper to teach her a song

Connecting without the electronic umbilical cord

I cannot say with clinical certainty that social and communication skills are eroding. I have not conducted a study. Yet I can see changes in many of the campers. They seem slightly more awkward than the children 15 years ago - especially in the early days of a camp session. More striking, I see changes in their peers who do not have anything like camp in their lives. Sure, I wish my campers spent less time at home interacting with an electronic screen, but I can see that they are doing better than their friends who never put the iPhone down. Often times our campers report that "urgent" and drama rich texts seem much less engrossing after they return from camp. Camp gives them a sense of perspective after their weeks of "real relationships" (their words.) They often resolve to turn their phones off for several hours each day and instead talk with people face-to-face.

As a result, I strongly encourage all parents I talk with to find tech-free social outlets for their children. These outlets need to be fun, not laborious. Otherwise, the tech-free experience becomes a punishment and they resent the experience and crave a return to texting.

As I have said before, I am a fan of technology. I want my own children (and campers) to be fluent in technology and familiar with its true benefits. Using techiology properly, they can live richer lives. But I want more than just that for them. I want them to be able to connect with a new friend, blossom on a date, impress in an interview and simply appreciate the joy of direct human interaction. I want them to have what our grandparents had as well as what the internet offers. With both, they should lead spectacular lives.


Source: www.psychologytoday.com