EMAIL WRITING-Models of ≠ E-mails
Apology Emails
Standard/general model
Email of Apology from a supplier to a commercial customer regarding problems with a delivery of components. Focus on the words/phrases in BOLD
Dear Mr Smith,
Further to your email of the 17th December 2009 regarding your order (ref no. 34ED12QP). First of all, please allow me to apologise for Peter Taylor not responding to your email. I can confirm that Peter has been on sick leave for the whole of this week. And although this explains the issue, it does not justify it. It is evident that there was a miscommunication in his department and the person who should have been taking care of this issue, did not. I have already taken all the necessary measures to ensure that this does not happen again in the future. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention.
With regards to the issue of your order, I have taken personal charge of it. Let me apologise for the late delivery. Regarding the damaged components, I can confirm the following.
It is normal policy here that we do not accept liability for problems with components if we are not notified within 7 working days of delivery. And due to the fact that you did not notify us until after 15 working days of the delivery, the Customer Service Department followed procedure. But as we view you as a valuable customer, and we have worked together for over five year, rest assured that I will sort out this issue as a matter of urgency. I have already spoken to the Production Director here and he will confirm tomorrow when we can send the replacement components to you. I will update you by the end of tomorrow at the latest. Could you please confirm if this is adequate?
I do hope that this situation has not damaged your confidence in working with us.Once again, please accept our apologises for any inconvenience caused.If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me on mobile 07995 348236
Yours sincerely,
Mrs Sally Boswell
Rugger Sales Director
1-To: richard@finlays.com
Dear Mr. Gere,
I Brandy Watson would like to apologize on behalf of our organization Star Fisheries for failing to deliver the order placed by your organization. There was an accident in making arrangements for your goods; as a result we could not deliver the order.
You had placed an order for one thousand fishes. Our fishermen had managed to catch enough quantity of fish to meet your order. But, while returning a small misfortune happened. There was a thunderstorm and heavy rainfall. As a result the fish got rotten and we could not manage to deliver your order.
I promise that this won’t be repeated in future. We will always meet your order as we have done earlier. It is my sincere request to forgive us for this failure. It will be an honor for us if you continue to maintain business relationship with us.
With regards
Mr. Brandy Watson,
Manager- sales department.
Star Fisheries
2-To: tommy@sherrydesigns.com
Tommy Stephens
Manager Marketing Department
Sherry Designs
Dear Mr. Stephens,
I would like to apologize for our mistake in sending the wrong order. This email is in regards to the order placed by your organization on 15th of December 2010.
You had placed an order with us for the delivery of one thousand pieces of cotton trousers. But, instead of delivering trousers we ended up delivering to you one thousand pieces of cotton shirts. There was a mix up with the order of another client who had placed an order of one thousand cotton shirts.
I understand that you must have suffered business losses due to the mistake committed by us. I assure that we will compensate for your losses with the payment in your next order. I also promise that we won’t commit such mistake and we will make sure you receive the correct order.
With regards,
Sam Henderson,
Manager- sales department,
Bond Manufacturers.
3-To: dan@rogercorporations.com
Dear Mr. Roger,
I Terry Edward would like to apologize on behalf of our organization Edward Paints for the delay in providing service to your company. There were few reasons for the work getting delayed.
Our organization had signed a contract with your company for providing painting services to your office premise on 10th of December 2010. We supposed to start our work from 12th of December and complete it by 16th of December. But, we started painting from 14th of December and ended it on 18th of December. There was delay in finding the shade of paint that you selected; hence this caused delay in completing our painting work. The shade was not available in our stock and not also in the local market, so we had to arrange for it from the city outskirt.
I promise that we won’t repeat such mistake in future.
With regards,
Terry Edward
CEO
Edward Paints
4-To: john@geemail.com
Dear Mr. Woo,
I would like to apologize on behalf of my staff for the unsatisfactory service provided to you at our store. This is in regards to your visit to our store on 15th of December 2010 for the purchase of a leather jacket.
You had visited our store on 15th of December 200 to purchase a black leather jacket. I believe that before leaving you had registered a complaint against one of our staff for providing unsatisfactory service to you as were denied a discount though you had a discount voucher. I would like to inform you that it was the first working day of that specific staff. We have given a warning to him and making sure that he gets adequate training before dealing with customers.
You are our regular customer and we would like to continue our relationship with you. I request you to forgive us as we promise you a better service next time.
With regards,
Jack Daniels
General Manager
Regular Store.
5-To: JacobGreatfirms@hotmail.com
Dear Mr. Jacob,
We have received a phone call from you on 12th March regarding the delivery of the incorrect bill amount at your company. As per the information received, you got an invoice from us on 10th of March by Mr. Troy Watson.
On investigating the matter with the Financial Department, it appears that a staff member has mistakenly typed a wrong bill amount. I deeply apologise for the inconvenience that has caused to you and your company. We are really sorry for the delay in payments this time. In view of your complaints, the finance manager and the accounting manager is reconsidering the entire staff slot and their trainings so that this does not happen again.
Mr. Jacob, I am really sorry on behalf of the entire team of accounting department. I hope this letter solves your concerns in some way. You will never get a complaint from us in future.
We will send you your corrected invoice by tomorrow morning positively.
Sincerely,
Derek B. Martin
ABC Pvt. Limited.
6-To: George_90@hotmail.com
Dear Mr. George,
I was really concerned to receive your letter on 17th March, complaining about the catering services you received on your anniversary celebrations in our ballroom. Your comments regarding our delivered services are very important to us.
As stated in your letter, you were not satisfied with the quality of the Chinese cuisines and the service of the waiters allotted for the purpose. I deeply apologise on behalf of the entire working staff that we could not meet your expectations.
In view of your complaints, I personally talked to the chef who prepared the Chinese dishes that were served on the day of the celebrations. He explained to me that the dishes were served in a very presentable way after proper examination of its taste.
Respecting your comments, we are heartfelt sorry. However, I request you to please specify the details of your complaints and send a formal letter to us. We wish to act on the reimbursement of the food, if necessary.
Sincerely,
David Martin
Manager
Glow Hotels
7-To: Franz_hardy@hotmail.com
Dear Sir,
Through this letter I would like to express my deepest apology for the incompletion of my assigned presentation. I apologize that I could not submit my presentation to you on time, which in turn created problems to our clients.
I completely agree that it was due to lack of professionalism and inadequate skills that made me unsuccessful. I assure you that this kind of inappropriate and irresponsible deeds won’t happen again in future. I truly want your forgiveness this time.
Sir, I promise to complete and submit all my pending project works on time to prove my dedication and proficiency in the work field. In addition, I have taken steps to recover the loss that might have been caused due to my carelessness.
Valuing our professional relationship, I promise to work in a cordial and an amiable environment with you again.
Sincerely,
Joe Martha
Employee
Flowers Company Ltd.
8-To: Thames_joy@hotmail.com
Dear Customer,
We are writing this letter in response to your complaint regarding Internet services at your home. Reviewing your file thoroughly, we owe you our deepest apology for the inconvenience caused.
You have registered your complaint on 15th March 2012 to a staff member of installation department. As specified, you are facing a problem of low speed downloading and fluctuations in the internet connectivity. We have forwarded this matter to the installation group and by the end of this week they will contact you. You would be provided with a new router at your place and all the necessary adjustments for the same would be done for your software.
Because of the inconveniences caused to you, we are going to provide you a free package of internet services for first four months. Once again, we are really very sorry for this. We promise to provide you and all of our customers, high level of services in future.
Yours in service,
Leo Dickens
Manager, Customer Solution.
9-To: Harry_williams@hotmail.com
Dear Sir,
Please accept this letter as my formal apology for the late delivery of the merchandise at your stores, last month. Our manufacturing units that was supposed to furnish the garment, was not working properly.
In the entire working partnership with you, this has happened for the very first time. I am heartfelt sorry for all the inconvenience caused to you and your clients. Your bulk order no. 23 that was supposed to be delivered at Youth Stores, New York is our biggest concern for now. We have many orders from other garment stores as well but we promise to deliver your slot first.
Once again we are really sorry for this regard. Our manufacturing units are under supervision and they would work efficiently from tomorrow. I request you to give us the time till 20th March. The entire merchandise along with some reimbursements would be provided to you by 12:00 PM positively.
Regards,
John Mc. Carton
Manager
Holy Cloth Manufacturers
10-To: roger@roninvestments.com
From:
Subject:
Dear Mr. Watson,
I would like to say that I am extremely apologetic about the fact that I could not complete the presentation for the client on time. I want your forgiveness in this regards.
I would like to let you know that my wife has been admitted in the hospital as she has been diagnosed with severe malaria; as a result I had to attend to her needs and got involved with my personal problems. I believe that you understand my situation.
I assure you that this kind of irresponsibility won’t be repeated again and I will complete all project reports in time so that I can prove my efficiency and dedication towards work.
You have always motivated us and guided us as a leader and I am ashamed that I had let you down.
I request you to forgive me and I promise to show complete dedication for the company.
With regards,
Ron Weasel
Asst. Manager.
11-Dear Christine,
I am deeply sorry for missing our scheduled meeting on 11th March 2012, regarding the discussion of the latest project.
As you might understand, I was unable to come for the meeting because my flight was delayed by 10 hours due to extremely poor weather conditions in New York.
I would like to settle another meeting with you for the upcoming week. I would be available from 20th March to 27th March, anytime before 7:00 PM. Please let me know whatever time best suits you by 15th March so that I book a ticket for myself, beforehand. You can contact me on 982928392.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
Sincerely,
Rose Marley
12-Dear Paul,
Please accept my deepest apologies for the misplacement of your Chemistry practical notebook. I remember that it was 13th March when you handed over me your file. I wanted to complete my pending assignments till 17th March as it was to be submitted for evaluations. I am really sorry for creating this troublesome situation for you. I know that I should have handled it very carefully. I heartily admit my mistake and can only say to you that I am really sorry. I understand how difficult it would be for you to accept my apology when the evaluations are going on, but hope that this letter would help in some way.
I will talk to the Chemistry professors to extend the submission date for you till 20th March so that your grades do not get hampered. If I could help you in any kind of completions, contact me any time.
Kind regards,
Jonathon David
13-To: brian@hotmail.com
From:
Subject:
Dear Brian,
I would like to say that I am sorry for my unexpected and unethical rude behavior towards you. I would like to apologize for such behavior.
I still remember how you made feel a part of the team when I joined the company. You noticed my discomfort on the first day at office and made me feel comfortable. You have guided me in all steps of my work and helped me improve my performance without a single hesitation that I can be your competitor or that my performance can be better than yours.
I am sorry for what happened yesterday. I was bogged down with work pressure that I did not realize that you were trying to help me. I have realized that it was insulting for you as the whole office was watching. I promise you that this act of mine won’t be repeated.
With regards,
Anna Smith.
14-Dear Mr Weakes,
I’m writing to apologise for the poor service you
received in our restaurant last week, and for the food
poisoning you suffered.
We would like to point out that an inspection by
the local authority confirmed that hygiene standards
in our kitchens are very high, and that all our food is
delivered fresh every day and is of the best quality.
However, we accept full responsibility and would like
to offer a complimentary dinner for two.
Yours sincerely
The Manager
Kingfisher Restaurant
15-Dear Mr Paxman,
I apologise for the fact that your order has not arrived
yet. Unfortunately, this is a period of very high
demand, and our usual supplier is causing us some
problems. However, we now have all of the items
you requested and we are ready to send your order.
Because of this delay, I would like to offer you a 5%
discount. Thank you for your patience.
Yours sincerely
Raj Kahn
PAYMENT EMAILS
Dear Mr Jenkins,
Re: Overdue payment
I am writing with regard to invoice number 01886212, which is overdue for payment.
Your order was for 100 five-litre tins of magnolia wall paint, which were delivered to you from our warehouse two days after you placed your order, as agreed.
Ms Speers, who is the finance manager here at ColourColour, would like to remind you that our payment terms are 30 days. This means that the full balance of £1,825 was due by 15 July.
If you fail to make full payment within seven days, we will have no alternative but to take further action.
Please contact either Ms Speers or myself in the finance department on 02144 8449122 if you would like to discuss the situation in more detail.
Yours sincerely,
SUMMARY EMAILS
Last month Insure Co was pleased to announce the
acquisition of ABC Insurance. The new company
brings together two leading insurance providers to
form the world’s third largest insurance company.
The merger guarantees the future of both companies
and their ability to compete with the best. At the
same time, it creates possibilities to make savings
in many areas, such as office expenses, advertising
and staffing costs. These savings will be passed
on to the consumer in the form of lower insurance
premiums.
In addition, with the combined expertise of the two
companies, the consumer can expect to see an
exciting range of new insurance products in the
coming months.
The company would like to take this opportunity
to thank employees of both companies for the
patience and understanding they have shown in
recent months. Their loyalty is appreciated and
the company intends to keep any job losses to a
minimum.
REPORTS
1-Report
This report describes recent results in the Danish market,
the reasons for them and suggests action that we can take
in the future to improve sales.
Overall, it has been a disappointing year, with sales
falling by 30% compared to the previous year. However,
this should be seen in the context of difficult trading
conditions: everyone in the market is reporting decreased
sales.
For us the situation has been made more difficult by three
factors:
– a new IKEA store opened near Copenhagen four months
ago, attracting business away from other shops.
– we only have Italian brochures and customers would like
them in Danish.
– Central, our biggest customer, has refused to order more
lamps unless we increase their commission to 25%.
On a more positive note, the market seems to be
recovering and consumers are spending again. We also
have the prospect of a contract to supply lamps to the
Chancery chain of hotels, which is about to refurnish
twelve hotels here.
In order to take advantage of the improving market, I
would like to make three recommendations:
1) that Danish brochures are made available as soon as
possible.
2) that we increase the rate of commission to all our
customers to 25%.
3) that we invest in some advertising in lifestyle and
interior design magazines.
Please feel free to contact me about any of the above points.
2-Report on Greenland Documentary
The aim of this report is to provide an update on progress
with regard to the documentary started last May, and an
estimate of the schedule for completion.
We chose Greenland as our subject for the following
reasons:
– no-one else is making a documentary in this area at the
moment
– it is a good place to observe the effects of global
warming (currently a topical subject)
On the positive side, we have collected five hours of
material including some impressive footage of wildlife
(particularly polar bears) and some very interesting
interviews with local people.
With regard to the schedule, however, the filming is
several days behind. This is partly owing to unpredictable
weather conditions which have sometimes prevented us
from filming. In addition to this, it has not been easy to get
permission to shoot in the north. Since it is a conservation
area, the authorities are reluctant to give permission.
Our estimate is that we have only another four weeks
filming to complete and once that is finished we will return
to the editing room to distil the footage down to one hour.
We would recommend, on the basis of what we have
already filmed, that the subject of the documentary should
be the effect of global warming on wildlife and the local
people. However, we recognise that this is your decision and would welcome your views on this before we begin the editing process.
3-Report
This report examines the performance of new recruits
to the Solartech staff in the last two years, and makes
recommendations on how performance can be improved.
During our survey, we interviewed twenty recent recruits
in the sales department and examined their results.
We came to the following conclusions:
– eight of them were doing an excellent job. In the case of
two, they had exceeded their sales target by over 15%
– six of them had a good technical understanding, but
seemed inexperienced at selling (three of them admitted
they had never sold anything before joining the company).
Their sales results ranged from poor to very poor.
– The remaining six had a sales background, either
through previous commercial training or a sales position.
However, their understanding of the product was weak.
Our recommendations are as follows:
1) Technical training courses should be made obligatory
for new recruits and extra training must be given to those
who are weak in this area.
2) Sales training should be available to everyone in the
sales department, but we recommend that in future the
company does not employ people with no sales training
or experience. Moreover, anyone who fails to meet their
targets over four consecutive months despite having been
trained should be asked to leave.
Writing Effective Email: Top 10 Email Tips
By Dennis G. Jerz and Jessica Bauer, on March 8th, 2011
Some professionals get scores of emails a day. Follow these email etiquette tips in order to give your recipients the information they need, so they’ll act on your message.
1. Write a meaningful subject line.
2. Keep the message focused.
3. Avoid attachments.
4. Identify yourself clearly.
5. Be kind — don’t flame.
6. Proofread.
7. Don’t assume privacy.
8. Distinguish between formal and informal situations.
9. Respond Promptly.
10. Show Respect and Restraint.
1. Write a meaningful subject line.
Before you hit “send,” take a moment to write a subject line that accurately describes the content, giving your reader a concrete reason to open your message.
Email is different from text messaging. In a text message conversation, two parties expect to engage in multiple, rapid back-and-forth exchanges, asking for clarification and providing corrections when necessary. Generally, you are texting somebody you already know well, about a shared interest, and the subject of the conversation will change as your time together progresses.
But email is part of most people’s work routine. Most professionals who get 20 or 50 or 200 emails a day do not want to engage in a leisurely back-and-forth; they want to clear out their inbox and move on to their next task.
If your subject line is vague — or even worse, if it’s blank — you have missed your first opportunity to inform or persuade your reader.
Remember — your message is not the only one in your recipient’s mailbox. A clear subject line will help a busy professional to decide that your email is worthwhile.
Subject: [Blank]
If you don’t put a subject line on your email, you are sending the message that your name in the “From” line is all your recipient should need in order to make it a top priority. That could come across as arrogant, or at the very least, thoughtless. Take advantage of the opportunity to get your recipient thinking about your message even before opening it.
Subject: “Important! Read Immediately!!“
What is important to you may not be important to your reader. Rather than brashly announcing that the secret contents of your message are important, write an informative headline that actually communicates at least the core of what you feel is so important: “Emergency: All Cars in the Lower Lot Will Be Towed in 1 Hour.”
Subject: “Quick question.“
If the question is quick, why not just ask it in the subject line? This subject line is hardly useful.
Subject: “Follow-up about Friday“
Fractionally better — provided that the recipient remembers why a follow-up was necessary.
Subject: “That file you requested.“
If you’re confident your recipient will recognize your email address, and really is expecting a file from you, then this would be fine. But keep in mind that many email users get scads of virus-laden spam with vague titles like this. The more specific you are, the more likely your recipient’s spam-blocker will let your message through.
Subject: “10 confirmed for Friday… will we need a larger room?“
Upon reading this revised, informative subject line, the recipient immediately starts thinking about the size of the room, not about whether it will be worth it to open the email.
2. Keep the message focused.
Often recipients only read partway through a long message, hit “reply” as soon as they have something to contribute, and forget to keep reading. This is part of human nature.
If your email contains multiple messages that are only loosely related, in order to avoid the risk that your reader will reply only to the first item that grabs his or her fancy, you could number your points to ensure they are all read (adding an introductory line that states how many parts there are to the message). If the points are substantial enough, split them up into separate messages so your recipient can delete, respond, file, or forward each item individually.
Help your reader focus on your message: keep your text readable.
• Proofread, especially when your message asks your recipient to do work for you. All-caps comes across as shouting, and no-caps makes you look like a lazy teenager. Regardless of your intention, people will respond accordingly.
o If you are in middle school, a gushing statement “thx 4 ur help 2day ur gr8!″ may make a busy professional smile — or shudder.
o Often, the sweetness of the gesture won’t be enough. u want ur prof r ur boss 2 think u cant spl? LOL ;-)
• Write short paragraphs, separated by blank lines. Most people find unbroken blocks of text boring, or even intimidating. Take the time to format your message for the ease of your reader.
• Avoid fancy typefaces. Don’t depend upon bold font or large size to add nuances. Your recipient’s email reader may not have all the features that yours does. In a pinch, use asterisks to show *emphasis*.
3. Avoid attachments.
Rather than attaching a file that your reader will have to download and open in a separate program, you will probably get faster results if you just copy-paste the most important part of the document into the body of your message.
To: All 1000 Employees
From: Eager Edgar
Subject: A helpful book everyone should read
——–
Hello, everyone. I’ve attached a PDF that I think you’ll all find very useful. This is the third time I sent it the file — the version I sent yesterday had a typo on page 207, so I’ve sent the whole thing again. Since some of you noted that the large file size makes it a bit awkward, I’ve also attached each chapter as a separate document. Let me know what you think!Attachments:
• Big Honking File.pdf (356MB)
• BHF Cover.pdf (25MB)
• BHF Chapter 1.pdf (35MB)
• BHF Chapter 2.pdf (27MB)
• [... ]
Okay, raise your hands… how many of us would delete the above message immediately, without looking at *any* of those attachments?
To: Bessie Professional
From: Morris Ponsybil
Subject: Email tips — a subject for an office workshop?
——–
Bessie, I came across a book that has lots of tips on streamlining professional communications. Has anyone volunteered to present at the office workshop next month? Let me know if you’d like me to run a little seminar (2o minutes?) on using email effectively.Below, I’ll paste the table of contents from the book. Let me know if you want me send you the whole thing as a PDF.
Table of Contents
1. Write a meaningful subject line.
2. Keep the message focused and readable.
3. Avoid attachments.
4. [...]
Email works best when you just copy and paste the most relevant text into the body of the email. Try to reduce the number of steps your recipient will need to take in order to act on your message.
If your recipient actually needs to view the full file in order to edit or archive it, then of course sending an attachment is appropriate.
If it’s the message that matters, recognize that attachments
• consume bandwidth (do you want your recipient to ignore your request so as to avoid paying for a mobile download?)
• can carry viruses
• don’t always translate correctly for people who read their email on portable devices.
4. Identify yourself clearly.
To: Professor Blinderson
From: FuZzYkItTy2000@hotmail.com
Subject: [Blank]
Yo goin 2 miss class whats the homework
Professor Blinderson will probably reply, “Please let me know your name and which class you’re in, so that I can respond meaningfully. I don’t recognize the address FuZzYkItTy2000@hotmail.com.”
To: Professor Blinderson
From: m.ponsybil@gmail.com
Subject: EL227 Absence, Oct 10
This is Morris Ponsybil, from EL227 section 2. This morning, I just found out that the curling team has advanced to the playoffs, so I’m going to be out of town on the 10th.
According to the syllabus, it looks like I will miss a paper workshop and the discussion of Chapter 10. May I email you my Chapter 10 discussion questions before I leave town? And could I come to your office hour at 2pm on the 12th, in order to discuss the paper? I’ve asked Cheryl Jones to take notes for me.
Thank you very much. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.
(If you are asking the other person to do you a favor, providing the right information will give him or her a good reason to decide in your favor. In this case, Morris Ponsybil shows his professor he cares enough about the class to propose a solution to the problem his absence will cause.)
When contacting someone cold, always include your name, occupation, and any other important identification information in the first few sentences.
If you are following up on a face-to-face contact, you might appear too timid if you assume your recipient doesn’t remember you; but you can drop casual hints to jog their memory: “I enjoyed talking with you about PDAs in the elevator the other day.”
Every fall, I get emails from “bad_boy2315@yahoo.com” or “FuZzYkItTy2000@hotmail.com” who ask a question about “class” and don’t sign their real names.
While formal phrases such as “Dear Professor Sneedlewood” and “Sincerely Yours,” are unnecessary in email, when contacting someone outside your own organization, you should write a signature line that includes your full name and at least a link to a blog or online profile page (something that does not require your recipient to log in first).
5. Be kind. Don’t flame.
Think before you click “Send.”
If you find yourself writing in anger, save a draft, go get a cup of coffee, and imagine that tomorrow morning someone has taped your email outside your door. Would your associates and friends be shocked by your language or attitude?
Or would they be impressed by how you kept your cool, how you ignored the bait when your correspondent stooped to personal attacks, and how you carefully explained your position (or admitted your error, or asked for a reconsideration, etc.).
Don’t pour gasoline on a fire without carefully weighing the consequences. Will you have to work with this person for the rest of the semester? Do you want a copy of your bitter screed to surface years from now, when you want a letter of recommendation or you’re up for promotion?
@!$% &*@!! &(*!
Go ahead… write it, revise it, liven it up with traditional Lebanese curses, print it out, throw darts on it, and scribble on it with crayon. Do whatever you need in order to get it out of your system. Just don’t hit “Send” while you’re still angry.
From: Clair Haddad
To: Ann O. Ying
Subject: Re: Ongoing Problems with ProjectI’m not sure how to respond, since last week you told Sue that you didn’t need any extra training, so I cancelled Wednesday’s workshop. I can CC Sue in on this thread if you like, since she’s the one who will have to approve the budget if we reschedule it.Meanwhile, I can loan you my copies of the manual, or we can look into shifting the work to someone else. Let me know what you’d like me to do next.—Original Message –From: Ann O. YingI tried all morning to get in touch with you. Couldn’t you find a few minutes in between meetings to check your messages? I’m having a rough time on this project, and I’m sorry if this is last-minute, but I’ve never done this before and I think the least you could do is take some time to explain it again.
If your recipient has just lambasted you with an angry message, rather than reply with a point-by-point rebuttal, you can always respond with a brief note like this, which
1. casually invokes the name of someone the angry correspondent is likely to respect (in order to diffuse any personal antagonism that may otherwise have developed) and
2. refocuses the conversation on solutions (in this conversation, Ann has already dug herself into a hole, and Clair has nothing to gain by joining her there)
6. Proofread.
If you are asking someone else to do work for you, take the time to make your message look professional.
While your spell checker won’t catch every mistake, at the very least it will catch a few typos. If you are sending a message that will be read by someone higher up on the chain of command (a superior or professor, for instance), or if you’re about to mass-mail dozens or thousands of people, take an extra minute or two before you hit “send”. Show a draft to a close associate, in order to see whether it actually makes sense.
7. Don’t assume privacy.
Unless you are Donald Trump, praise in public, and criticize in private. Don’t send anything over email that you wouldn’t want posted — with your name attached — in the break room.
Email is not secure. Just as random pedestrians could easily reach into your mailbox and intercept the envelopes that you send and receive through the post office, a curious hacker, a malicious criminal, or the FBI can easily intercept your email. Your IT department has the ability to read any and all email messages in your work account (and your company can legally may fire you if you write anything inappropriate).
If you stretch the truth in an email (downplaying a problem, leaving out an important detail, etc.), you’re creating a written record that your recipient can (and will) use to determine whether
• you are uninformed about the truth
• you are informed but deliberately misrepresenting the truth
• your confusing emails mean you aren’t a reliable source for determining the truth
8. Distinguish between formal and informal situations.
When you are writing to a friend or a close colleague, it is OK to use “smilies” :-) , abbreviations (IIRC for “if I recall correctly”, LOL for “laughing out loud,” etc.) and nonstandard punctuation and spelling (like that found in instant messaging or chat rooms). These linguistic shortcuts are generally signs of friendly intimacy, like sharing cold pizza with a family friend. If you tried to share that same cold pizza with a first date, or a visiting dignitary, you would give off the impression that you did not really care about the meeting. By the same token, don’t use informal language when your reader expects a more formal approach. Always know the situation, and write accordingly.
9. Respond Promptly.
If you want to appear professional and courteous, make yourself available to your online correspondents. Even if your reply is, “Sorry, I’m too busy to help you now,” at least your correspondent won’t be waiting in vain for your reply.
10. Show Respect and Restraint
Many a flame war has been started by someone who hit “reply all” instead of “reply.”
While most people know that email is not private, it is good form to ask the sender before forwarding a personal message. If someone emails you a request, it is perfectly acceptable to forward the request to a person who can help — but forwarding a message in order to ridicule the sender is tacky.
Use BCC instead of CC when sending sensitive information to large groups. (For example, a professor sending a bulk message to students who are in danger of failing, or an employer telling unsuccessful applicants that a position is no longer open.) The name of everyone in the CC list goes out with the message, but the names of people on the BCC list (“blind carbon copy”) are hidden. Put your own name in the “To” box if your mail editor doesn’t like the blank space.
Be tolerant of other people’s etiquette blunders. If you think you’ve been insulted, quote the line back to your sender and add a neutral comment such as, “I’m not sure how to interpret this… could you elaborate?”
Sometimes Email is Too Fast!
A colleague once asked me for help, and then almost immediately sent a follow-up informing me she had solved the problem on her own.
But before reading her second message, I replied at length to the first. Once I learned that there was no need for any reply, I worried that my response would seem pompous, so I followed up with a quick apology:
“Should have paid closer attention to my email.”
What I meant to say was “[I] should have looked more carefully at my [list of incoming] email [before replying],” but I could tell from my colleague’s terse reply that she had interpreted it as if I was criticizing her.
If I hadn’t responded so quickly to the first message, I would have saved myself the time I spent writing a long answer to an obsolete question. If I hadn’t responded so quickly to the second message, I might not have alienated the person I had been so eager to help.
–DGJ
________________________________________
References & Further Reading
• Alsop, Stewart. “My Rules of Polite Digital Communication.” Fortune. 142.2 (10 July 2000): p 76. Online. Academic Search Elite. 9 October 2000.
• Cronin, Jennifer. “Netiquette, schmetiquette.” Des Moines Business Record 16.24 (12 June 2000): p 11. Online. MasterFILE Premier. 9 October 2000.
• “Email Etiquette.” I Will Follow Services. 1997.
• Nucifora, Alf. “Use etiquette when messaging via email.” Memphis Business Journal 21.51 (14 April 2000): p23. Online. MasterFILE Premier. 9 October 2000.
• Thorton, Sam. “Rules and Regulations: Email Etiquette.” 29 April 1998.
9 October 2000.
Jessica Bauer and Dennis G. Jerz
15 Tips for Composing Clear, Concise & Responsive Emails
1. Determine Your Desired Outcome
Most people know roughly what they want, but do not take the time to clearly think it through. This is how we end up with ambiguous or rambling email. Without a clear understanding of our desired end results, our thoughts are disorganized and we can easily confuse the receiver.
There are 4 types of email:
1. Self Fulfilling Email – The email itself is the point. You want to tell the receiver something, either a compliment or information. No reply is necessary.
2. Inquiries - You need something from the receiver in the form of a reply. For example, advice, or questions answered. The reply is your desired outcome.
3. Open-Ended Dialog – to keep communication lines open, for the purpose of some future result or benefit.
4. Action Emails – The goal is not the reply, but some action on the part of the receiver. For example, a sales pitch, or asking for a website link exchange.
Which type of email are you sending? What is your desired outcome?
The clearer your intention, the more focused you will be, the better you can cater email for the intended result, the more likely you will get your desired outcome.
2. Quickly Answers, “What’s the Point?”
People want to know “what do you need from me?” Answer this question quickly. Skip long introductions, backgrounds, compliments and details. Jump to the point. State it clearly using minimal words.
If action is needed, make it clear what the desired action is from the recipient.
And if no action or reply is expected, say that! “No reply necessary.” It’ll be like music to their ears.
3. State Benefits Clearly
If a pitch is presented, make sure it includes many clearly stated, easily understood benefits for the receiver.
Too many pitchy emails focus solely on the sender and why the action will benefit the sender. If you don’t present incentives, or they are difficult to understand, the receiver will say no – resulting in a waste of time for both.
Also, make sure the incentives are realistic, the exchange is fair, and there truly are benefits to the receiver. Do your homework before contacting someone. Put yourself in their shoes, “Would you act on the offer?”
Example, emailing a high profile website like lifehacker for a link exchange is not a fair exchange. It’s called spam. If they don’t display links to other sites, likely they won’t display yours.
4. Remember to KISS
KISS = Keep it simple, stupid (I didn’t come up with this)
When we send out a long email asking for something from the receiver (time, favor, etc), we are essentially saying “I do not respect your time.” Show them you appreciate their time, by making email short, and simple to answer.
Using as few words as possible, introduce who you are, context if necessary, and why you are emailing.
Being brief doesn’t mean we have to be boring. We can be creative with our wording, add a dash of personality where you see fit, but still be brief.
5. Save the Whole Story – Stick to the Facts.
People tend to say too much in email. We feel compelled to describe all the details and disclose the whole of our existence so that the receiver can understand the whole picture. Truth is, unless you already know this person well, they really don’t care.
Unless asked, you don’t need to overly elaborate anything. Simply stick to the facts – it’ll help you keep your message short.
6. Pretend Face-to-face Intro
If you just met someone new at a party, would you open your mouth first and give them a rambling story about your life? Probably not. Typically, we close our mouth after a quick intro. In email, stopping talking is equivalent to hitting the send button.
Treating email introductions as if you are meeting them in person is another trick to keeping messages short.
7. Text Message Trick
When we are on mobile devices like the blackberry or our cell phones, we lack the fluidity of the computer keyboard, and as such, we get to the point really fast.
Now, pretend you’re on a mobile device, what would your message be now?
8. Avoid Excessive Compliments
Some people have the idea that the more compliments they throw out, the more likely the receiver will comply with their offer/need/pitch.
There is a difference between being genuine and saying what’s on your heart, and going out of your way to compliment someone. We humans are exceptional at detecting unauthentic phrasings and remarks – even in email.
Compliment only if you really mean it. And remember to be brief if you need action from the receiver.
9. Be Personal and Personable
Personalize email with relevant remarks to the receiver, put in a quick comment about their site, product or work. Address the person by name, sign email with your own name, and a friendly comment like “Enjoy your weekend!”
10. Make it Easy to Be Found
In your signature, include appropriate URLs for your website, blog, portfolio or product. Make sure the links are functional so they can read more about you in one-click.
11. Use Simple English
When the writing is too formal or uses irrelevant technical lingo, it is difficult for laymen to understand. Plus, you come off sounding like a legal document or spammer. Neither is good.
Write like you talk, using conversational English. Be authentic and realistic.
Trying to sound professional will come off as if you are trying to sound professional. Use your real voice – it’s more endearing and approachable.
12. Font Matters
There is nothing worse than opening an email and become blinded by the brightness elicited by all the words displaying in bold. It makes me want to instantly close the email for the sake of protecting my eyes.
Alternatively, fonts that are too small, too large, or otherwise hard to read (ie. 8 point, times roman font, all bold.) makes us not want to read the email as well.
Beware of your fonts in your ‘presentation’. Do not bold the entire email, use easy to read fonts (ie. Arial), and use a standard size. Do not use extravagant colors since they don’t work well on all monitors and can be hard to read.
13. Formatting Matters
Make emails easy to read and quick to scan by using bullet points, numbered lists, and keeping paragraphs short. Highlight keywords (bold or italic) for emphasis, without overdoing it.
14. Minimize Questions
Ask questions that matter, and limit the number of questions and favors you ask in an email (one or two max). The more questions (especially open-ended ones) asked in one sitting, the less likely you are to get a response, and the less likely all your questions will be answered.
Also, ask specific questions instead of a general open-ended ones. Be reasonable and thoughtful when asking. Don’t expect the recipient to solve all our life problems. For example, “How can I get rich quick? How can I become successful?” are too broad. Break them down into specifics and ask the one question that really matters.
You can send additional questions in separate emails. Key is in keeping the line of communication open by not overwhelming the receiver.
15. Trimming of Words
Like grooming a garden, read through the finished email and trim out words, sentences, and paragraphs that do not contribute towards your desired result.
Check for potential ambiguities and unclear thinking. Can you rephrase sentences for clarity using fewer words? Check for excess commentary that doesn’t add to the email’s main point. Remove extra details disclosed, unnecessarily.
The 7 Bad E-Mail Habits that Make People Want to Kill You
E-mail is a shallow way to communicate. It’s easy, fast and lacks the depth of understanding most people have face-to-face. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize just how much of this understanding is lost. As a result, they pick up bad habits and start driving coworkers, bosses and friends crazy.
Here are seven particularly bad habits, and how you can fix them so people don’t want to kill you:
1) Hanging Questions
Any e-mail that involves a request or question requires a follow-up. Even something as short as, “K.” However some people seemed to have missed this point, and leave requests or small questions completely unanswered. The problem here is that the sender has no idea whether you even read the message yet.
Here’s the fix:
1. For small questions, answer them immediately after reading. Get an auto-responder or simply shorten e-mails to a few words if you’re facing a time-crunch.
2. For questions you can’t answer yet, tell them that. If you won’t know until the 15th, don’t wait until the 16th to reply.
3. For difficult or long-winded answers, tell them you aren’t sure/don’t have time to answer right now. If the message is important add writing a response to your to-do list. If it isn’t, just leave it there. Any response is better than silence.
2) Buried Requests
A buried request is where the question or actionable information is sandwiched between unimportant info. Consider the difference between these two e-mails:
Hi Bob, I’ve been considering your new proposal for adjusting the customer service policy. I think we should meet up and talk about it. Your proposal seems actionable, but I have a few concerns.
Compare to…
Hi Bob, I’ve been considering your new proposal for adjusting the customer service policy. I think we should meet up and talk about it. Your proposal seems actionable, but I have a few concerns.
When do you want to meet up?
In the first e-mail, the request is in the second sentence, buried away. In the second it is repeated and given a new paragraph. Which one do you think is easier to read?
3) Wrong Medium
E-mail works best for direct and non-time sensitive information. Conversations, discussions and anything that requires a heavy amount of back-and-forth should be done on the phone or in person. Trying to use e-mail to have these conversations can be slow, time-consuming and painful.
The solution is to bridge the e-mail gap when you recognize you’re wasting time with it. Ask the person if you can discuss the issues in person or on the phone at a specific time and date.
4) Trying to Be Clever
Don’t try to be witty or sarcastic in an e-mail and pretend as if everything you say will be taken literally. Although a few metaphors can come across well in an e-mail, most don’t. The person on the other side can’t tell with what intensity or emphasis you typed the words. If anything can be ambiguous, reword it and leave it out.
And don’t think using emoticons gives you the green-light to be clever and charming. A symbol can’t replace the hundreds of different varieties in voice, tone and gestures you normally use to communicate intentions.
5) Sending Urgent Requests Through E-Mail
My guideline is that I shouldn’t send an e-mail if I need a response in less than five days. Not only do some people take days to respond to e-mails, you won’t be able to convey urgency in text. When you are on the phone or in person, you can transmit the impending need of your request, while in text you can only resort to using CAPITAL LETTERS or exclamation marks!
6) Bulky Paragraphs
People don’t read e-mails, they skim. So don’t write an eight sentence paragraph in one chunk. Here’s some guidelines:
• More than six lines? Split it up.
• Important information? Make it a one-line paragraph.
• Multiple pieces of important information? Make a quick bulleted list. (Like this one)
7) Playing E-Mail Tag
This probably won’t bother other people, but it might make you stressed enough to take it out on yourself. Don’t try to keep your inbox open to receive e-mails immediately as they arrive. Set times each day to answer and keep yourself by those limits. It will reduce distractions and force people who want to banter to pick up the phone and call you.
Snoop in the office
Why that joke email could get you the sack
Your in-box is not as private as you thought
Phillip Inman and Jamie Wilson
The Guardian, Saturday 2 December 2000
They were not even very good jokes. Certainly not the sort of thing you would send to your mother, but exactly the same as thousands of other smutty emails that whizz their way round the computers of Britain's offices every day.
But for Rupert Beverley and David Pennington, who worked for an engineering company in Huddersfield, forwarding the messages to colleagues was the worst mistake they ever made. Earlier this month an industrial tribunal unanimously rejected their claim for unfair dismissal. It found the company was perfectly within its rights to sack them not only for sending the emails - but more worryingly for the thousands of workers whose in-boxes are filled with personal mail - for the amount of time wasted in the process.
A string of similar sackings in other companies has set alarm bells ringing among civil liberties groups and trade unions, who believe the current regulations could be used as a licence for bullying bosses to build up dossiers and then fire people they do not like.
The emails ranged from a cartoon frog in a blender to smutty drawings and jokes. They had been circulating among a group of 40 willing employees at the company, but unfortunately one of them went astray and landed in the in-box of a colleague who did not share their sense of humour. He complained, an investigation and surveillance operation were launched and Mr Beverley and Mr Pennington were sacked for being the ring leaders and forwarding more emails than anybody else.
In their case the company had a clear policy stating precisely what was ac ceptable material for inclusion in emails. But the plethora of rules and regulations governing exactly how, when and why bosses can access the in-boxes of their staff is both contradictory and confusing, and has led more and more companies to the conclusion that they can carry out blanket trawls of emails. Others have banned emails altogether rather than end up in acrimonious disputes with their staff.
The farrago has led some commentators to suggest it could have ramifications for Tony Blair's vision of London as the e-commerce capital of the world. "The laws are riddled with contradictions," said John Browning, co-founder of First Tuesday, the main network for dot.com entrepreneurs. "Why would companies come to Britain when they don't face these kinds of problems in other countries."
Under pressure from employers the government acted. The Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act, which came into force on October 24, allows employers to snoop on staff without their knowledge according to specific circumstances. But the six categories listed are widely considered to include nearly all the circumstances in which an employer might want to snoop.
But the RIP Act contradicts both a 60 page draft code of conduct drawn up by the data protection commissioner, Elizabeth France, and article 8 of the Human Rights Act. Ms France insists that email is private and has refused to water down the draft code that effectively bars employers from opening personal messages received at work. She also believes workers should have the power to delete emails, a move that would prevent firms retrieving old messages from an individual's hard disk.
However, the Department of Trade and Industry has made it clear that the RIP Act takes precedence. The only crumb of comfort for employees can be found in the regulations, which a spokesman said employees can use to pursue a civil action against an employer who has not told its staff that emails "may or will be intercepted".
A spokesman for the civil rights group Liberty said: "Our view is that employers should be obliged to justify each occasion when they monitor an employee's emails or telephone calls and show why it was necessary and proportionate in that case. They should also provide facilities for employees to phone and even send emails from their workplace secure in the knowledge that their calls or emails won't be intercepted."
A spokeswoman for the TUC also criticised the current confusion."At the moment the regulations encourage employers to think blanket monitoring of all emails is allowed without thinking how that will affect the workforce."
One of the most worrying recent examples is that of eight sales staff at the telecoms company Cable & Wireless who were suspended after a complaint about a smutty email. Six of them were sacked last week and two others are understood to have resigned. All eight had worked for the company for less than a year and so will be prevented from appealing to an industrial tribunal.
One of the six sacked workers said the first time he saw the company policy on emails was in a letter after he was suspended. Even then he felt safe after he read that staff might only be dismissed for downloading pornography. He said he deleted the email. Yet this failed to appease the company and it trawled through his in-box.
"They went through my entire system and found an email with the word 'fuck' in it, which they said was offensive," the employee said.
Cable & Wireless said the emails were clearly in breach of its policy, but admitted the guidelines were not published on the internal computer noticeboard. When the Guardian asked for a copy of the policy a spokeswoman said it was private and confidential.
If the Cable & Wireless staff had been at the company for more than a year they might have claimed that the policy was unclear or that Cable & Wireless had failed to communicate it to staff. They could also claim the company had been draconian if other staff on the email circulation list had been let off, as one of the victims alleges.
It looks more and more as though the UK is set to follow the American model where more than 40% of companies regularly examine their staff's email. One multinational company in Germany - where the rules governing spying on employees personal emails are much stricter - is understood to have already taken advantage of the more relaxed laws in the UK by sending all the emails sent and received by staff from its offices in Germany to London where they are monitored.
It would seem likely that there will be many more court cases before employees know for sure just what words are acceptable for use in private emails and how much time they can spend sending private messages and surfing the internet. But one thing is for sure: that ill thought out missive questioning the parentage of the boss could well land more employees in hot water.
© 2012 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved.
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